Patiently Waiting

We have all seen it at Wal-Mart or Target a small child and their family is in front of you in the check-out line. The child has spotted some kind of candy or treat they just have to have. They start out slowly asking their parent can I have it and in no time they are throwing a fit and demanding they get the special treat. Some parents give in and allow them to get their way; while other parents resist the tantrum and gently move the child along and suggest maybe next time you can get a treat. One parent teaches their child that tantrum’s work while the other parent teaches their child the proper way to wait patiently for something you would like.

What does patiently waiting look like to you? I have had a strong desire to be married for a very long time. I have been patiently waiting for God to bring me my husband. However at age thirty I don’t see that anywhere in sight.

Over my past thirty years I have collected countless pieces of advice and suggestions regarding relationships and dating. It starts at a very young age with the Disney princesses being rescued by a handsome prince. In middle school and high school I turned to chick flicks and music that was illustrated what a “healthy realistic” relationship really looks like. NOT! But goodness they are fun to watch. J Through college and post-college life I turned to my friends and mentors to see what they were experiencing and learned from them. My brain had collected all these ideas and suggestions on what a relationship should consist of. As I received more and more information it seemed to only contradict something I had already filed away in my brain. So what’s a single girl to do? J Well, besides sitting at home and being utterly confused; all you can do is combine those suggestions and try a little bit of everything. 

So that is exactly what I have attempted to do this past year. I have been set up on several dates, asked out at random locations (university cafeteria, DFW airport, gas stations); asked guys out and even did a three month period of online dating. That should surely put me in a good position to find my husband right? J The dates allowed me the opportunity to meet a variety of men. Through my interactions with the men, I tried to implement the various suggestions I had complied over my thirty years of life. As I communicated and got to know the various men it became clear that some were not for me and I was not for them. It has been a fun and interesting year where I was able to learn a lot about myself. The most important lesson of all I learned just this week.

Turns out, apparently all these years I have been waiting, but I really have not been patiently waiting. See there is a huge difference and it was not until a very wise woman in my life pointed it out to me that I was able to see it myself. I considered myself patiently waiting because I was not setting for less than God’s best for me. But the whole time I was questing and complaining to God to hurry up and bring my husband. That is clearly not how you would describe a patient person. Remember that small child in the check-out line throwing a tantrum over candy? In a way that is me. All these years I had been standing in the husband line asking God to bring me a husband. But with each year it seemed the intensity of my tantrum increased. Now I was the small child screaming at the top of my lungs crying out to Jesus why and when would my husband come. God is that parent that does not respond to tantrums. Clearly I was going about this all wrong. Yes, we should come before God with the desires of our hearts but that does not mean throw a fit when He does not respond in the way we want him to.

Seeing myself as a small child throwing a fit in the check-out line has been a humbling experience for me. I feel so sad and silly but yet I feel like I learned an extremely important lesson that I will carry with me forever. I know realize it’s okay to share the desires of my heart with God, but then I need to move along with my life trusting that if it’s God’s will for my life he will provide at the appropriate time.  

I learned this lesson while I wait for a husband, but I’m sure there are many others that can also learn this lesson in other areas of their life. We all desire things from God and are waiting for him to bless our lives with those. What have you continually been asking God for?  Are you making your request know to him or are you like me and that small child, throwing a tantrum over what you want?