What does patiently waiting look like to you? I have had a
strong desire to be married for a very long time. I have been patiently waiting
for God to bring me my husband. However at age thirty I don’t see that anywhere
in sight.
Over my past thirty years I have collected countless pieces
of advice and suggestions regarding relationships and dating. It starts at a
very young age with the Disney princesses being rescued by a handsome prince.
In middle school and high school I turned to chick flicks and music that was
illustrated what a “healthy realistic” relationship really looks like. NOT! But
goodness they are fun to watch. J
Through college and post-college life I turned to my friends and mentors to see
what they were experiencing and learned from them. My brain had collected all
these ideas and suggestions on what a relationship should consist of. As I
received more and more information it seemed to only contradict something I had
already filed away in my brain. So what’s a single girl to do? J Well, besides sitting
at home and being utterly confused; all you can do is combine those suggestions
and try a little bit of everything.
So that is exactly what I have attempted to do this past
year. I have been set up on several dates, asked out at random locations
(university cafeteria, DFW airport, gas stations); asked guys out and even did
a three month period of online dating. That should surely put me in a good
position to find my husband right? J
The dates allowed me the opportunity to meet a variety of men. Through my
interactions with the men, I tried to implement the various suggestions I had
complied over my thirty years of life. As I communicated and got to know the
various men it became clear that some were not for me and I was not for them.
It has been a fun and interesting year where I was able to learn a lot about
myself. The most important lesson of all I learned just this week.
Turns out, apparently all these years I have been waiting,
but I really have not been patiently waiting. See there is a huge difference
and it was not until a very wise woman in my life pointed it out to me that I
was able to see it myself. I considered myself patiently waiting because I was
not setting for less than God’s best for me. But the whole time I was questing
and complaining to God to hurry up and bring my husband. That is clearly not
how you would describe a patient person. Remember that small child in the
check-out line throwing a tantrum over candy? In a way that is me. All these
years I had been standing in the husband line asking God to bring me a husband.
But with each year it seemed the intensity of my tantrum increased. Now I was
the small child screaming at the top of my lungs crying out to Jesus why and
when would my husband come. God is that parent that does not respond to
tantrums. Clearly I was going about this all wrong. Yes, we should come before
God with the desires of our hearts but that does not mean throw a fit when He
does not respond in the way we want him to.
Seeing myself as a small child throwing a fit in the
check-out line has been a humbling experience for me. I feel so sad and silly
but yet I feel like I learned an extremely important lesson that I will carry
with me forever. I know realize it’s okay to share the desires of my heart with
God, but then I need to move along with my life trusting that if it’s God’s
will for my life he will provide at the appropriate time.
I learned this lesson while I wait for a husband, but I’m
sure there are many others that can also learn this lesson in other areas of
their life. We all desire things from God and are waiting for him to bless our
lives with those. What have you continually been asking God for? Are you making your request know to him or
are you like me and that small child, throwing a tantrum over what you want?
